


Please Don't Say You Love Me ('Cause I Might Not Say It Back)

by mogiah



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-18
Updated: 2017-06-18
Packaged: 2018-11-15 15:10:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11233566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mogiah/pseuds/mogiah
Summary: It’s all new for him, this life, these feelings, and he’s not sure how he’s supposed to act.Finn thinks he has time to figure things out.The truth is, he really doesn't.





	Please Don't Say You Love Me ('Cause I Might Not Say It Back)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!  
> This is the first time I post on AO3 and I'm terrified but at the same time I'm excited because it's stormpilot and I'm kind of in love with this pairing. Let's just say that I'm stormpilot trash.
> 
> I was on the bus listening to my iPod when "Please Don't Say You Love Me" by Gabrielle Aplin came up and I was daydreaming about stormpilot and this fic happened. So yeah, as you can see, I'm not that original with titles.  
> *sighs sadly*  
> This work is not beta'd but I've spent days checking the grammar - so if there are any major mistakes, blame it on the fact that English is not my first language (:

Cold.  
It’s cold on Starkiller Base, colder than anywhere he’s ever been. But he’s never been anywhere, so he can’t really say he’s got experience. Still, Finn feels the cold air bite his bones and he can only think that this has always been his life. He’s always felt cold, growing up on the Finalizer. Sometimes he’s wondered if warmth was just an abstract concept.  
White.  
The snow is soft and he's amazed that it can hold him up. When it touches his face and clothes, it melts right away and Finn wonders about life again. The world is such a strange place. White reminds him of what he used to call home, because that’s all he knew, the four walls of the starship he had grown up in. It never felt like home, though, and its whiteness has always blinded him.  
When cold and white meet his face, a string of pain rises in his body and everything goes to black.  
The last thing his mind allows him to see is Rey’s sparkling eyes and Poe Dameron smiling at him.

_xxx_

When he opens his eyes, Finn feels warm.  
He blinks blearily and when he tries to move, the pain comes back and he holds back a scream. He’s confused and disorientated, but when he tries to stretch his hands he realises that the left one is trapped.  
He panics but he doesn’t really get the chance to because as soon as he moves, he sees Poe fast asleep in a chair next to his bed. Poe’s holding his hand. It’s not trapped, even if Poe’s hold is firm and it looks like he’s not going to let go any time soon, and Finn hums. He likes it. He likes the feel of fingers intertwined, of a hand that is not his embedded with his own. He thinks that what he’s feeling is _warmth_ and he’s not planning on letting go either.  
When he tries to tighten the grip, Poe wakes up. He shifts in the chair, his hair messy, and when he looks up their eyes meet. Finn doesn’t know how to describe it, but he sees a spark light up the already beautiful eyes of Poe.  
“Finn,” he says, smiling. He gets up, rubs his eyes quickly and then wraps their intertwined hands with his other one. “How are you feeling?”  
Finn croaks, his voice getting stuck in his vocal chords. Poe seems familiar with this kind of situation because he’s already handing him a glass of water and helping him drink it.  
“’m okay,” Finn says when he feels like his voice is back where it’s meant to be. “Hurts.”  
“I’m going to call the nurse,” Poe says and when Finn feels his hand slip away, he tightens the grip and winces for the effort taken.  
“Stay,” he utters huskily. The smile Poe offers him makes him shiver but it’s different from all the ones he’s ever felt. He’s shivered for cold, for fear, for all different kind of bad feelings. This was new and not at all uncomfortable.  
“I’m not going anywhere,” Poe answers. “But they need to check you up. I’ll be back in a minute, I promise.”  
And when he comes back, there's a nurse with him and a doctor who apparently can’t stop smiling. Finn doesn’t mind because her voice is soft and welcoming, something he’s not used to hear. She comforts him with tender words and she tells him he will recover. Poe never lets go of his hand.

 

* * *

 

Finn decides, between a bowl of Pashi noodles and a glass of Feen juice – which, apparently, they serve only on certain nights and Finn doesn’t particularly like this rule – that he likes his new life. His fork goes back and forth from the bowl to his mouth and the fact that he's chewing something that isn’t a nutrition bar makes him happy. He empties the bowl and Poe watches him, a smile painted on his lips, and can’t help but laugh when Finn lights up when Jess comes back with a plate full of muffins. He steals one before Jess can even sit down and the pilot snorts. She doesn’t even try to fight anymore.  
“You still have space for that?” Jess asks, taking a muffin herself.  
“I will always have space for desserts,” Finn replies, half of the muffin already down his throat.  
“Good to know, man,” Jess replies and Finn smiles. Poe introduced him to the pilots as soon as he got dismissed from the medbay. He felt at ease with them and was more than happy that the pilots weren't bothered by his presence. They often ate together and liked to have a good chat with Finn after his physical therapy. Finn likes them and that’s enough for him.  
Snap steals a muffin on his way to the hangar and Jess looks at Finn with wide eyes when he takes the third muffin.  
“You should stop,” she says, shielding the only muffin left on the plate with her right arm. “Or you won’t be able to stand on your feet for the therapy this afternoon.”  
“It’s not my fault you’re slow. You’re still eating the first muffin?!”  
“I like to enjoy the taste! Unlike someone else here.”  
Finn sticks out his tongue and Poe silently watches, the sweetest smile lifting his lips.

It's the night that amazes him the most.  
Finn doesn’t know how to explain it but even if darkness is the same everywhere, here on D’Qar it looks different. It feels brighter and _lighter_ and he doesn’t feel trapped anymore. The stars are the same he used to see on the Finalizer but they’re more beautiful here, smaller, and they make him want to jump on a ship and explore them.  
“When the war’s over, I’ll take you Yavin,” Poe says one night. It’s something they’ve come to do, lying on the grass outside the base. They watch the sun set on the horizon and they shift closer when the night appears around them, the slightly cold wind caressing their bare arms. Finn likes it. “It's a beautiful planet and I'm sure my dad would be more than happy to meet new people. We can bring Rey along.”  
Rey. Finn misses her the most. When they told him why she was gone, he said he understood and he did, truly, but it didn’t make him miss her less.  
“Yeah,” Finn replies. “That would be nice.”  
“We could visit other planets,” Poe continues. “Naboo is beautiful. I’ve been there once and I’ve always wanted to go back there. Then we could go to Fresia. I heard that they have one of the most beautiful fountains in the galaxy. It could be a nice trip. It’s a bit far but I guess we’ll have time, huh?”  
Finn smiles and he can see it, the three of them, with BB-8 and Chewbacca, flying around the galaxy in the Millennium Falcon. He can see it and he hopes he will live it.  
“I like it,” Finn says. Poe takes his hand and squeezes it, taking Finn by surprise. He shivers, the same kind of shiver he felt when Poe smiled at him when he woke up. He gets another smile from the pilot, a softer one, and Finn realises that he really likes _him_.

 

It doesn’t take them long to take the next step, even though Jess says it took them way too long.  
It’s another two weeks of smiles, small touches and long hugs after Poe comes back from a mission before they actually do something about it. Finn just likes it like that. It’s all new for him, this life, these feelings, and he’s not sure how he’s supposed to act. He would usually ask Poe for help and he thinks he can’t, not this time. It's about him, he can't ask him, except he can because there’s nothing holding him back.  
So, maybe it’s not how Poe expected it to happen but things never go as planned.  
“I don’t know how to do this,” Finn blurts out one night. He’s lying on his bed, eyes fixed on the ceiling, and Poe is getting ready for bed.  
“How to do what, buddy?” Poe asks. He sits on his bed and lifts the covers just a bit. Finn turns around and blushes, biting his lower lip. It’s something Poe does but he can’t help but mimic his actions, sometimes.  
“Us,” Finn says and it feels strange to say it out loud, _us_ , but he knows there is an us. “I don’t know how to behave. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”  
“You just have to be yourself.” Poe is smiling and Finn likes it.  
“It’s not _that_ easy!” Finn answers back, sitting up. “I don’t know how to do that, either. I’ve never been myself. I’ve been a number for most of my life. This is all too new and sometimes, it's a bit too much.”  
Poe gets up and sits close to him. He takes his hand and Finn feels the usual warmth spread through his bones and he wonders how he had managed to live that long without this kind of feeling.  
“What do you want?” Poe asks.  
“You.” Just as simple as that. “I know I want you.”  
Poe lifts his hand and gently caresses Finn’s cheek. He shifts even closer, without imposing his presence on Finn.  
“I’m already yours,” Poe says. He leans in, waiting for Finn to tell him if it’s okay, and when he receives a smile, he closes the gap between their lips and he kisses him, soft and gentle.  
“If you allow me, I can help you figure out the rest,” Poe whispers to his lips. “We have time.”  
Finn laughs, his heart throbbing happily. He might still find things confusing but he knows he’ll be fine as long as he has Poe.  
Morning comes and they’re late for breakfast and when Jess sees their intertwined hands, she claps way too loud and almost screams. “Finally! Took you long enough.”  
They ignore her babbling but not the joyful feeling their friends' comments leaves them.

 

* * *

 

 

When Poe says it for the first time, Finn freezes, both with mind and body.  
It’s night, Poe has his arms wrapped around Finn’s waist and he whispers it, eyes closed as he dozes off.  
“I love you,” he says and Finn wonders how come Poe hasn’t felt his heart stop because he’s pretty sure it did. Poe falls asleep in his arms and Finn stays awake. It’s a new kind of insomnia, different from the one he's used to. He’s spent most of the past four months waking up from the nightmares that he can't seem to shake off.  
They got better, with Poe holding him close at night, but they weren't gone. When Rey came back after two months of training, with Luke Skywalker right next to her, they started to meditate together. Somehow, it helped him but not even meditation could calm his skittish heart that night.  
Poe notices something is wrong in the morning before they even get the chance to dress.  
“Are you okay?” he asks, sitting on the edge of their bed. “Did you have another nightmare?”  
“No, I think you would’ve noticed,” Finn replies. He’s fidgeting with his hands and Poe stops him, holding his hands with both his.  
“What happened?” Poe asks, his tone more gentle than a caress. Finn knows he can be honest with Poe, he’s just not sure how he’s going to react.  
“You said something, last night,” Finn says and he panics when he sees Poe’s face grow darker, as if he’s done something wrong. Finn gets even more nervous. “It wasn’t bad! I swear you didn’t say anything bad or embarrassing.”  
“Then what did I say?”  
“You said that you love me.”  
Poe goes still and Finn feels like he’s about to faint, then Poe nods and lets out a heavy breath.  
“Yes, I did,” he says and Finn’s happy he actually remembers it. For a moment, the thought that he might have said it without really noticing crossed his mind. “Did it bother you?”  
“No! No, it didn’t. I mean, it kind of freaked me out but...it’s good. To know that you love me.”  
Poe’s smile is back on his face and Finn gets caught up by his boyfriend’s brightness when he suddenly remembers what they were talking about and he realises that perhaps Poe is waiting for him to say it back.  
“Uhm...I-I...I know I...” he tries, but words get stuck in his throat and he feels like he can’t breathe anymore. Poe knows him so well that that’s all he needs to wrap his hands around his head and kiss his worries away.  
“Don’t,” Poe says, breaking the kiss. “Don’t say it if you’re not ready.”  
“It’s not right, though,” Finn hisses, hands gripping on Poe’s shirt. His breaths are still uneven. “Not for you.”  
“No, hey, don’t say that. I’m not going to ask you to say something you’re not ready to say,” Poe exclaims. He brings Finn closer and hugs him tight. “It’s okay, Finn. You need more time to figure it out and it’s okay. I know I love you and I don’t care if you don’t say it back. I’m happy with just having you in my life.”  
Finn knows he feels something, deep inside, because he feels safe in Poe’s arms and he thinks he wants to spend the rest of his life with him, but he just can’t bring himself to say it. Not out loud, not even to himself, and he curses the First Order for screwing him up so badly. But Poe’s words play back in his mind and he truly feels safe, because he has time now, he can learn how to love and he’s sure Poe will teach him how to do it.

The thing is, they don’t really have time. They’re at war, the First Order is getting stronger and their army is getting bigger, and the Resistance needs them both. Poe spends most of his time in the air and Finn's always with the General and Skywalker, planning new attacks. When he's not with them, he’s training either with Rey or with the new recruits.  
Times flies and Poe never once leaves without telling Finn how much he loves him and Finn thinks he still has time, that _they_ still have time because he never says it back and Poe is still okay with that.  
“I love you,” Poe says. He’s about to leave for another mission; if everything goes smoothly, he should be back in three days. Finn smiles and kisses him goodbye.  
“I know,” he replies and Poe leaves. Finn watches him go and every time that Poe comes back, Finn knows he’s one step closer to admitting to himself – and to his boyfriend – that he loves him, too.  
  
Except, Poe doesn’t come back after three days.  
Rey reminds him that it’s war, that nothing ever goes as planned and Finn knows it. Poe’s often late and he’s used to waiting, but he gets restless after a week and Rey doesn’t have soothing words for him anymore.  
Then, eleven days after the pilots’ departure, they come back.  
Finn runs on the landing runway and looks for Black One, for BB-8, for Poe, and he doesn’t see any of those.  
Jess limps out of her X-wing and her face tells Finn everything he doesn’t want to know.  
“There was an ambush,” she says as a medi-droid comes near and makes her sit down on a box. The General is right beside them, fear written all over her face. “We were outnumbered. We tried to fight them off but we had to retreat, General.”  
“Where’s Poe?” Finn asks because he doesn’t give a damn about formalities right now. He has to know. He feels Rey step closer and he wishes she hadn’t because he knows what that means. She’s preparing herself to comfort him and he’s not sure he wants that.  
Jess puts on her brave face. She’s done this before but this time is different. This time it’s about Poe. “His and Tash's X-wings got shot down. We spent three days looking for them. They were...we found their ships' remains. They got blown up.”  
Blown up. A crash, Poe could survive that. A bad landing, a few blaster shots, he survived both of those in the past. No one survives an explosion.  
“I’m so sorry,” Jess whispers and she begins to sob because Poe was her best friend, her commander, and Tash was like a brother to her and they didn’t deserve this kind of death. Finn turns on his heels and he doesn’t know where he’s going. He’s not quite sure he can hear people talking around him and he comes back to reality when Rey puts a hand on his shoulder.  
He’s in his room. His and Poe’s. He’s sitting on their bed and Poe’s favourite shirt is still hanging on the chair. Poe's definitely messy and he more often than not forgets to tidy up.  
“Finn,” Rey says. He doesn’t answer and she kneels in front of him, hands resting on his knees. “Finn, talk to me.”  
“I didn’t say it back.”  
Rey looks at him puzzled and Finn feels tears stream down his face. “What?” she asks.  
“I...I didn’t say it back. I didn’t tell him I love him. I thought...Rey, I thought I had time, that _we_ had time. _I never said it back_.”  
And he breaks down in Rey’s arms because he never said it back and suddenly he realises he’s loved Poe from the very first smile he’s given him.

 

* * *

 

It doesn’t get better. It’s what people tell him, that the pain will eventually fade away, but Finn doesn’t see how this kind of pain is ever going to leave him. It’s different from all the pain he’s ever felt and he doesn’t like it but he knows he was bound to live it one day. It’s war. Poe’s a pilot and the chances of him not coming back were always high.  
Still, Finn can’t bring himself to think of Poe as dead, even though half of the base accepted his death way too easily. Finn realises that they’ve been through it before, that they’re not heartless but just used to it. They saw lots of friends and good people die in this war, and Poe’s just another number on the list. Not for him, not for Rey and the pilots left, not even for the General.  
She’s the only one who seems to understand him and she's honest with him. “The pain won’t leave,” she says. “You just learn how to live with it.”  
Finn knows the scar Han Solo left on her heart is still open, but the General is still there, breathing, leading a revolution, and Finn thinks that he can at least try to do that; live.  
He still thinks of Poe as if he’s coming back, though. Rey notices because he still uses the present tense while everyone else is slowly shifting to the past one. He just can’t, maybe because he still has hope.  
“They didn’t find him, Rey,” Finn says one night. They’re dining together and Finn has just finished an entire bowl of Beebleberry ice cream. It was something that both Poe and Nien loved, and Finn’s joke about how the kitchen was probably going to run out of it after Poe’s return didn’t go unnoticed by Rey. “For all we know, they could both be alive.”  
“It’s been two weeks, Finn,” Rey says and there’s sadness in her voice. “We would’ve known.”  
“Their ships were torn to pieces, they might not have a way to communicate with us.”  
“They sent pilots back and forth for days. They never found any trace of them. Listen, I know it’s hard-”  
“It’s not hard, Rey, it’s _unbearable_.”  
Rey doesn’t like it when people see her cry and the fact that they’re in the middle of the mess hall should refrain her from crying, but she does anyway. She reaches for Finn’s hand and she squeezes it.  
“I wasn’t ready for this,” Finn continues. “And I’m not ready to let him go.”  
“One day you will,” she says. “It took me twelve years to let go of my parents. I’ve finally accepted the fact that they’re never going to come back for me. It’s...it’s not going to be easy, but you'll make it. I will be there for you. I promise.”  
Finn squeezes back and thinks how he wishes he didn’t have to let Poe go.  
“What do you think happened to BB-8?” Rey asks after a short time of silence. Finn’s heart aches also for the little droid. The thought of him dying was something that had never crossed his mind. He was a droid and it always felt like he was going to be there forever.  
“I don’t know,” Finn replies, even though he has a vague idea. If the X-wing exploded, there were little chances that BB-8 made it out alive or all in one piece. _If_ the droid's alive, Finn hopes that the First Order didn't get the chance to get their hands on him. Rey sniffles and Finn knows that Poe is not the only one they’re missing.

 

It’s night when it happens. No one wakes him up but he’s a light sleeper and the hurried steps outside the door warn him that something’s wrong. He puts on some pants and as soon as he steps out of the room, he sees Rey rubbing her eyes and approaching him.  
“What’s going on?” she asks. Finn shrugs and assumes that it’s nothing too serious because there’s no alarm going off. They follow the sound of the steps and it leads them to the main entrance, where the medical staff is gathered. The General is standing in the middle of the action and there are a few pilots as well. Finn sees Jess and Snap, and Karé runs back inside with a couple of doctors.  
“Someone got hurt?” Rey asks in a whisper and Finn stretches his neck to have a better view.  
He feels his heart stop again when he sees a white and orange ball roll into the room.  
BB-8 is beeping loudly, not caring that it's the middle of the night, and another astromech droid is doing just the same. Finn recognises her; it’s JME-22, or Jamie, as Tash calls her. It’s his droid.  
“BB-8!” Rey shouts and the little droid squeals happily and rolls to their side. He rounds their legs multiple times and Finn wants to stop him and ask what the hell happened. “What happened?” Rey finishes and Finn wants to hug her right away.  
BB-8 answers but he stops mid-sentence when two stretchers are brought in. Chaos turns into cheer and the General is ordering them to let them through, and Finn watches as Tash and Poe are brought to the medbay.  
His feet are stuck but as soon as the medical staff rounds the corner, he jumps ahead and follows them.  
He doesn’t insist, he knows he has to wait because they have work to do, but no one is going to take him away from the medbay entrance. No one even tries and Finn finds himself surrounded by anxious friends.  
So they wait together and the nice doctor, Kalonia, lets them in just half an hour later.  
Finn knows his heart is going to explode but he doesn’t care because there he is, Poe, sitting on a bed with a smile on his face and a few bandages around his body.  
Finn runs to him and as soon as he hugs him, he realises he’s felt nothing but coldness for the whole three weeks Poe’s gone missing. Poe holds him close, emanates the warmth Finn loves so much and for a moment Finn feels awful, because he's not the one who brought Poe back.  
“We looked for you,” Jess almost screams. Her face is buried in Tash’s hug and she’s crying. “We went back for you but you – your ships were wrecked. Gone.”  
“We sent search parties after,” Snap says, a relieved smile on his face. “We never found you.”  
“We thought you were dead,” Finn adds, his own face hidden in Poe’s hair. He holds him tight and sobs. “I thought you were dead,” he whispers only for Poe to hear.  
“'m sorry it took us this long to come back,” Poe answers. Finn breaks the hug but he doesn’t remove his arms from around his waist.  
“What happened?” the General asks. Rey is standing between her and Karé and she’s smiling and crying at the same time.  
“We ejected before we crashed,” Poe answers. “BB-8 and Jamie did the same. We woke up miles from the crash and when we reached the X-wings, there was nothing. Just ashes.”  
“Why didn’t you wait for us?” Jess asks. She’s still wrapped around Tash and it looks like she’s never going to leave her personal spot.  
“It wasn't safe, we saw First Order's ships inspecting the area," Tash replies. “Besides, we figured you probably thought we were dead. Our X-wings were pretty much gone. So, we left and looked for a way back.”  
“And you found a TIE-fighter?” Karé asks, crossing her arms over her chest. “I almost shot you down out there!”  
Finn looks at Poe, surprised, and he winks at him before turning around to answer. “We actually found a transport ship but it blew up the night before our scheduled departure. The First Order was attacking the town we were in and what we got from the battle was a single functioning TIE-fighter. Still better than nothing.”  
“Yeah, but I still almost shot you down,” Karé says. Snap rests a hand on her shoulder and she shakes her head, murmuring something about not taking any more night shifts after one of their own has apparently gone missing.  
“I believe we should let you rest,” the General says and tells everyone to leave the medbay. Finn knows the order doesn't apply to him and when he looks down, Poe is already half asleep. With a smile on his lips, he lays him down as gently as possible. Jess is doing the same with Tash.  
“Stay?” Poe weakly asks and Finn's smile grows wider. He takes a chair and Kalonia nods, telling him it's okay. Rey gives him a warm smile before disappearing behind the door.  
He leans down and kisses him, just briefly, because it’s been too long since their last kiss and he needs to know he’s not dreaming anymore.  
“I’m not going anywhere,” Finn answers and he means it. Not now, not for the rest of their lives. Jess sits down next to Tash and Snap brings them both a blanket for the night. He waves them goodbye and the medbay is quiet again and for once Finn doesn’t mind the silence

When Poe wakes up, Finn feels his heart stitch up the holes he’s made while Poe was gone. He knows it will take him time before the fear of losing him is completely gone, but he doesn’t mind waiting. He knows his heart will heal better with Poe next to him.  
Poe turns his head and smiles at him, happily. He rubs his eyes and tries to sit up, Finn helping him, handing him a glass of water. They don't talk and it doesn’t bother either of them. Tash is still sleeping and Jess has moved from the chair to the bed with him. They look like siblings and Finn thinks that they probably were separated at birth.  
“Hey,” Poe says, croakily. Finn sits on the bed and takes his hand.  
“Hey,” Finn says. “How are you feeling?”  
“Good. I really needed to sleep,” Poe replies with a laugh. Finn smiles back and with his free hand, he fixes a lock of Poe’s hair behind his ear.  
“I love you,” Finn blurts out and it feels _right_.  
Poe’s eyes go wide and he starts to shake his head, hand tightening the grip.  
“No, don’t. Don’t say it because you thought I was dead.”  
“I _am_ saying it because I thought you were dead, but I’m saying it because I mean it.” Poe inspects his face and Finn never once stops smiling. “I thought we had all the time in the world. I’m sorry I didn’t realise it sooner. The First Order took everything away from me and I thought that I had time to explore this new life. I was scared but losing you, thinking that you were gone...I’m sorry it took me this long to say it but I mean it. I love you. I’ve always loved you, I just didn’t know I did.”  
Poe smiles and when he leans in and kisses him, Finn finds that he can finally breathe again.  
“I love you, too,” Poe whispers between his lips. Finn deepens the kiss and they both laugh when he ends up pinning Poe down on the bed with his body. They're happy now and they know they're going to be okay.

There isn’t a welcome back party, they don’t have the time, but when Poe and Tash get released from the medbay, the pilots organise a dinner just for them. Tash smiles and laughs with Jess wrapped around his arm. Poe licks Beebleberry ice cream from his lips and Finn watches him, happiness filling his heart.  
Rey is talking about that one time Snap thought he was teaching mechanics to the new recruits and it took him thirty minutes to realise they were nurses.  
Snap is letting her make fun of him because laughing is good, laughing is okay.  
Poe laughs along, jokes with them when he can, and he takes Finn’s hand and never lets it go.  
When they walk back to their room that night, Finn feels like they’ve been given a second chance.  
BB-8 is in his charging station and Poe is slipping under the covers next to him and Finn doesn't know where they're coming from, but he doesn't stop his next words from coming out.  
“Marry me.”  
Poe looks up, baffled, and Finn smiles. He gives him a quick peck on the lips and holds him closer.  
“Marry me, Poe,” he repeats.  
It takes Poe a few minutes to understand that Finn’s serious and he doesn’t even question his intentions. It’s fast, they’ve been together for just a few months, but it doesn’t feel wrong. Finn thought they had time but Poe’s last mission showed them both that they didn’t and getting married suddenly doesn’t seem rushed anymore.  
Poe kisses him and nods. “Okay,” he says.  
Finn laughs, so loud he almost wakes BB-8 up. “I thought this was going to be more romantic.”  
“You were planning on proposing?” Poe is quite shocked, actually. Finn shakes his head.  
“No,” he replies. “But I thought it was something that was going to happen, in the future. When I thought we had all the time in the world. And, you know, I thought I would ask you over dinner. Or maybe hide the ring in one of BB-8’s ports. Something definitely more romantic than this.”  
Poe laughs at the image of BB-8 helping Finn with the proposal, and it’s cute. “Would’ve loved to see that.”  
“Maybe next time.” Finn smirks and Poe can’t help but laugh again. When he stops, he puts a hand over Finn’s heart and his eyes are suddenly serious.  
“We still have time,” he whispers. They both know the have a second chance at a life together.  
Finn nuzzles his neck and Poe sighs, peacefully. “And I want to spend all of that time as your husband. Marry me, Poe.”  
Poe surely doesn’t need him to ask him a fourth time.

They don’t plan a proper wedding and Rey refuses to do so, because honestly, what does she know about weddings and parties? But the Resistance stops for one night and everyone is gathered in the gardens behind the base, where the General is celebrating the wedding with a gleeful smile on her face.  
“I now pronounce you husband and reckless husband,” she says and Poe shoots her a death glare and Finn just laughs. He takes Poe by the collar and he kisses his husband, opening a new chapter for both of them.  
Everyone is cheering and celebrating and it’s all for them.  
Rey throws flowers in the air and it feels strange, later that night, when everyone is slowly retiring and they’re sitting on the grass with their friends. They’re laughing and Finn can’t help but stare at their intertwined hands, and the gold rings marking them both as married shine underneath the moonlight.  
It’s strange, because he never thought he would belong with someone, and yet there he is, married, in love, happy. Poe’s kisses make him aware of how lucky he is to call the best reckless pilot in the galaxy his husband. Finn also knows that he gave his heart to the right person.

When Poe leaves for another mission, several weeks after their wedding, Finn is about to leave as well. There’s still a war to fight and they want to win, so that they have time to live, to breathe, to kiss again.  
They hug long enough that Rey has to come out of the Millennium Falcon and shout for Finn to move.  
“Come one, lover boy!” Rey shouts, rolling her eyes. “We have a mission to complete!”  
“Coming!” Finn shouts back. He smiles down at Poe and hugs him one more time.  
“I’ll see you when you come back,” Poe says. It’s not a promise because they both know they can’t promise that, but nothing stops them from hoping.  
“I love you,” Finn says and seals his words with a kiss. Poe kisses him back, pours all his heart in it, and when they break apart they’re smiling.  
“I know,” Poe replies. “I love you, too.”  
And they both come back.

**Author's Note:**

> I had so much fun writing this! I always like to add original characters in my stories and I loved to write the Tash/Jess bits, even if there is very little of it.  
> I wasn't planning on using the "I love you/I know" scene in this one (also because I'm writing another stormpilot story just about that) but it kind of just happened and it fit so well! I guess we're all overusing that scene but honestly, who wouldn't? Definitely the best "I love you" scene in cinema history. Okay, I'll shut up now.  
> Hope you enjoyed this fic!
> 
> I'm on [tumblr](http://morganee.tumblr.com) if anyone feels like rambling about this beautiful ship or Star Wars in general ♥


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